


Vacationing at Arkham

by cruelest_month



Series: Eddie and The Joker [2]
Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Bad Decisions, Crossover Pairings, M/M, Wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-18
Updated: 2012-02-18
Packaged: 2017-10-31 10:01:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/342750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruelest_month/pseuds/cruelest_month
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a severe lack of correspondence from the Joker, the Comedian visits Arkham Asylum.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vacationing at Arkham

**Author's Note:**

  * For [th_esaurus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/th_esaurus/gifts).



The postcards start arriving once a week. Then every few days. Eddie reads them and burns them afterwards, going out the balcony to smoke. It’s only when they start coming that he even cares about it because it’s not like the Joker to be inconsistent. It’s not like him to stop writing postcards so much as it would be to send more of them. 

A few days of this and Eddie decides that he’ll do something about it. He eyes the calendar and plans accordingly. When the right day arrives, he puts on his costume, saving the patriotic bulletproof shoulder pads and mask for last. His badge is missing. Again. He figures the Joker has it. The Joker usually does. 

He gets there and the first thing he wants to do is blow half the exterior of Arkham Asylum up. It’s an old building and he’d be the last person they’d suspect considering the people they keep there. 

He wants to blow it up so he doesn’t. Because he knows why the place got built. Because it’s built on a joke. But no one gets better in Gotham or anywhere else in the fucking United States of fucking America. The sick stay sick and so do the mad. Sometimes history repeating itself is a beautiful thing. 

They don’t recognize him at first. The stupid guards don’t pay enough attention and he knocks their heads together, dragging them behind him until he locates a nurse. In turn, he badgers her until she takes him to a doctor who takes him to the warden that lives in the house that Arkham built.

The warden, at least, gives him what he wants. 

He’s not surprised to find they’re treating the Joker like shit. No one gets better so no one helps anyone else. That’s the way the world is.

“Need to borrow him for a bit,” Eddie mutters, lighting up even as three nurses tell him not to. 

No smoking, he’s told. It’s bad for their health. 

He laughs. “So’s doping them up like this,” he points out before tapping on the glass. No real reaction. No real recognition. Just the same old smile. “Get him out of there and hand him over.”

The jailer works on opening the door and Eddie sighs. “I’d like to get the same treatment as Batman, but I guess that’s too much to ask for, huh?”

“What sort of superhero are you supposed to be?” one of the woman asks as he steers the Joker towards the exit none too gently. 

“The Comedian, sweetheart. Why aren’t you laughing?”

He gives up on getting the Joker to be helpful, holds him up on the motorcycle even after offering to let the other man body surf all the way home. 

“Talk about healer heal thy fucking self,” he murmurs pleasantly as he sets the other man on the couch and grabs a beer from the fridge. The sedatives, tranqs and other shit meds will wear off soon. 

“So there’s this man named Amadeus Arkham,” he says, yanking the bottle cap off, and sitting back on the couch. “And this bozo builds a mansion like his mother’s house for the criminally sane.”

The Joker’s lips twitch. At least he’s sort of paying attention.

“Only he killed his mother. Smothered her with a pillow. But that’s not funny. What’s funny is he builds this asylum and comes home to find his wife and kid raped and butchered. Body parts all over the place. Mad Dog Hawkins’ name carved on his wife’s stomach.”

The smile becomes last accidental and more intentional. It’s easier to tell without all that damn face paint in the way.

Eddie pauses and takes a swig from his bottle. “Somehow they let this guy keep on working, but it gets better, babe. Mad Dog becomes his patient. No one seems to think twice about this. Guess they think it’ll be therapeutic.”

Another drink then he continues. “It’s not right away. You see, first six months have to go by. Then he fries the guy’s brains out the anniversary of the death of his family, and spends the rest of his life in his own asylum. Nice of him to build it. Saved a lot of people a lot of trouble.”

The Joker is watching him now, waiting.

“Guess what day all of that took place on.”

He tilts his head.

“Oh come on. You should know. Same day as today. April Fools.”

There’s silence for a minute and then slowly the Joker laughs. Soon he’s cackling and it lasts for over a minute. Eddie just smirks and finishes up just about all of his beer. Eventually the Joker catches his breath and glances up. “That was a good one. I really needed that.”

“Thought you might.” He has an easier time letting the Joker take the beer bottle away from him than he does when it comes to knives, guns and grenades. 

Once the other man’s in his lap, Eddie bites at his dry lips and the Joker licks his cheek.

“You didn’t write back,” he points out, pouting slightly.

“Did you one better. Why? You don’t think the weather’s nicer back there, do you?”

“A bit tepid, I must admit. The view here is,” the Joker draws out the word and laughs again pulling the badge out of a vest pocket. He sticks it back where it belongs. “Much better.”

Eddie snorts as he glances down at the bloody circles around the eyes and over the yellow smiley face’s lips. “It’s not too bad,” he admits once he looks back up.

**Author's Note:**

> The history of Arkham Asylum featured in here is pulled mostly from Grant Morrison and Dave McKean's Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth.


End file.
